KCACTF: Preparing A Great Audition Monologue (Part 3)

How to Perform:

Practice your entrance, introduction, monologue and exit.  They are always watching you.  Carry yourself with confidence and show them what you’ve got!  During the intro they get to see you as a human (sane, stable, mature).  Rehearse your four seconds between the intro and your monologue.  You need to know what you need to get yourself into it.  If you are doing two monologues, do not take off your glasses or a jacket or ruffle hair in between for characterization, this seems “fakey fake.”

If you mess-up and they are on a strict schedule, just keep going.  Have a safety line near the end that you can go to.  If it is a smaller room and there is no stopwatch, ask to start again.  Do not bow afterwards, this looks messy and unprofessional.  Do not sing unless you can really sing.

“In life, people do not know that they are going to be speaking for a long time.  Thoughts are triggered; you have to further explain yourself.”  This is something I actually have to work on in Fat Pig.  Multiple times my character changes her train of thought or how she wants to explain something.  You cannot just read the lines.  You must take time and let the thoughts develop in your character’s head.

“A monologue is all about the other person.  You can make the other person do whatever you want them to do.  It is so much less about what is going on emotionally and so much more about what the other person is doing and what you want them to do.  Look line by line and decide what the other person is doing.”  Wow, this really takes a lot of pressure off of you as an actor.  Instead of trying to pull up all of these emotions out of nowhere, this gives you something to do.  You are focused on the other person.  You are acting to make them do something and this will much more naturally allow you to react.

You should have an overall objective as well as tiny objectives that are measurable in the moment.  To get to your objectives, try different tactics along the way.  “Raise the stakes!  Playwrights don’t write plays on normal days.”

“Along the way at least one thing needs to change.  You need to learn something new.”  This is quite beautiful.  What point would theatre have if it did not make a difference or affect the way that people think?  In a performance of whatever size, even a monologue, there must be some element that is discovered and shared with the audience.

KCACTF: Preparing A Great Audition Monologue (Part 2)

"The quicker you can get to love auditioning, the better.  View it as your time in that day to perform, to be an actor.  View it as a performance, not a contest."  I think that if we as actors can get this through our heads, this would make auditioning so much more exciting.  I personally love this view because I am not very competitive.  When I perform monologues or whatever it is I am asked to do as an audition, I need to embrace it as an opportunity to act.

Big Secret:  "The people auditioning you really want you to be good.  They want you to be able to solve their problem.  They need good actors.  They want you to be the one."  Okay, this is something that made quite a breakthrough in my head.  Why is it that I think a professional audition would be full of casting directors waiting for me to mess up?   Of course they would be on the other side wanting me to succeed because it makes their jobs easier.  This realization was a huge confidence boost.

“We want to know not only if you are a good actor, but also a good human.”  You want to come off as an “intelligent, nice young person who likes your fellow humans.”  “If you are well-prepared and happy with yourself and your life, you can celebrate and support your fellow actors.”  Yes, yes, yes!  This is something that I feel USF does very well.  Our department is full of family actors that genuinely care for one another.  I love being able to go to our auditions and be excited to act with my friends.  I love being able to embrace their talent and celebrate the show regardless of the casting.

KCACTF: Preparing A Great Audition Monologue (Part 1)

Material Selection: 

Choose a monologue of a character that you could actually play in real life.  Actual age range and type-how you look, who you are.  Show off your skills.  The character should be easily accessible to you emotionally-you need to understand it.  It should be contemporary (less than ten years old).  Read the New York Times, find playwrights who sound good to you and order their works.  The monologue needs to be from plays.  A selection from a monologue book does not show that you know the play-they are looking for smart actors.  Avoid monologues that are only telling a story, this is really hard to make present and active.  Be careful of rants or manifestos and avoid ubersexual.  It would be hard to find a good monologue from a musical because the really great one-person talking is usually expressed through a song rather than monologue.  If you are gonna do a monologue with a dialect, you better be darn good at it.  Try to avoid dialect though because it seems like you are trying to show a skill.  It is very hard to do style in 90 seconds, do realistic.

What to know:

Who the character is and what is happening in the scene.  What are the circumstances of the play?  What is this monologue about?  Why does the character choose to speak now?  The tone of the monologue goes back to the playwright.

KCACTF: Dialogue

Debbi, Colin, and I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to attend a dialogue workshop.  The three of us are part of the cast for The Importance of Being Earnest and we thought it would be beneficial to take any opportunity we can get to work on our accents.  To our delight, the man teaching the workshop actually used Earnest for multiple examples.  :)

He taught us how to change our vowel sounds.  Long "o"- lips say "o", rest of mouth says "a".  Short "o"-closed off and quick (got).  Short "a"- quick, such as "action" and "pack".  For words with "ary", drop the "a" (hereditary-hereditry, extroardinary-extroardinry).  Other pronunciatoins:  it is-tis, it was-twas, when-hwen, get-git.  For the sentence "Where were you today?"- "Hwer wer you today?"  Shape the "u" in duty, absolutely, during.

Americans speak with the sound further down in the throat  and tend to be very monotone.  The British speak with the tongue and teeth, they use a wide vocal range from falsetto to their lower register throughout their sentences.  "Keep the energy at the front of the mouth, annunciate, articulate."

4 Movie Night Invites

Tonight I had four different invitations to movie nights:  "Deja Vu" in Kroske, "Space Jam" in Burgess, "The Help" in Grand Island, and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" in Brandon Hanson's room.  This may not seem to be very significant, and it truly is not, but it did make me think.  Before I get all philosophical, I will say that I went to "Deja Vu" at 8:30 then left at 10 for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

I would like to say that I love the USF campus.  I love how proactive students are with creating their own fun.  There is rarely a dull moment.  Three of the movie nights were set-up for dorm-life involvement and the one in Brandon's room was for our weekly theatre-group movie night.  We select a movie each week that we are all interested in watching then boom!  Pop it in!  Tonight's movie night even included Taco John's Twilight Tacos.

I had a great night with my friends, but it is interesting to think that my night could have gone so many other ways had I chosen to attend a different movie night.  I am not sure who all was at the other ones.  I could have reconnected with people I haven't seen in awhile, possibly met some new freshmen, who knows.  It is just crazy to think how such a small choice still has an affect on your life.

How do you title something as horrible as this?

With a social networking site such as facebook it is easy for news to spread fast.  Usually it is something such as "Lauren and Samual are now in a relationship" or "I can't believe the Bachelor didn't choose her!!!!!!"  Today I got on and saw numerous posts on my home feed about a tragedy:  the 37 year-old mother of two students from my old high school was killed in a car accident.  I am in shock just thinking about this.

West Central is a small school with about one hundred students in each grade.  The town of Hartford has a population of just under two thousand, I believe.  Needless to say, everybody knows everybody and everything.  On the two kids's facebook walls there are numerous posts of prayers and condolences.  Some from their close friends, some by people who just know they by association.  This is surely a horror that will affect the whole town.

My Uncle Chad actually gave me a call this evening to ask me about what had happened.  I of course did not know any details, but shared what knowledge I had read.  He lives in Sioux Falls but had heard about it and figured I might know more because I had gone to school with them.

I don't know what to say.  I feel absolutely awful.  It was all so sudden.  How does stuff like this happen?  How are her kids supposed to carry on the rest of their school year, let alone the rest of their lives?  When something as awful and heart-wrenching as this happens, what is it that keeps us going when all we want to do is curl up in a little ball and cry our eyes out?  I just want to do something for them.  I want to help.  There is nothing I can do.  I cannot fix this or console them.  I can pray.  I can ask God to be the one to hold them and carry them through.  Even so, there is still so much pain.  This makes me feel so sick and helpless.

KCACTF: Say What? Making Your Characters Speak on the Page

We were all very excited to attend this workshop because we thought it would be geared towards actors and how we can bring characters to life from scripts.  When the doors were closed and we were told that we were there to learn how to create realistic characters when writing scripts, we all looked around at each other and made faces of "Oh crap!"  Haha!  We were at a workshop for writers.  It all ended up fine though because the workshop was very interesting and I learned a lot about characterization and interpreting what the playwright is trying to say.

"As a writer, it is just words on the page until we give it to the performer.  A good performer can bring out ideas you hadn't thought of.  Your words are not set in stone, they are not solid ground.  Things may change, this is okay!"  Putting on my writer brain, I am trying to think about how I would take this.  I could imagine myself sitting in a room with an actor discussing my work and being very hesitant to make changes.  There would be a lot of "buts" and explaining why I wanted something worded a certain way.  I have so much respect for people who can pour out so much time and emotion and allow others to perform and interpret it.  He said, "This is not the book world.  This goes into other people's hands and they have to be able to do something with it."

What do you know about your character?  Specifics include:  age, gender, physicality, education, economics, profession, religion, location, and point of origin.  "You have to write these things into the script or the person won't get it.  You are handing this off, give them all that you possibly can."

Questions to ask:  Intelligence level?  Any mental illnesses?  Learning experiences?  How does the character see him/herself?  How does the character believe that he/she is perceived by others?  Does the character seem to be ruled by emotion?  Introvert or extrovert?  How does the character deal with anger, sadness, conflict or loss?  What does the character want out of life?  What would the character change in life?  Judgemental, generous, stingy, polite, rude?

Words:  speech patterns, slang, jargon, vocab, poetic, lyrical, dirty, impediments, interrupts.  A speech pattern in a distinctive manner of oral expression.  The expression is determined by the personality created for that particular character.  Slang is based on:  location, region, social group, religious group, age, gender, time period, education.  "Slang changes all the time.  It's the actor's and director's job to bring it to life and look things up."  Jargon is the language, especially vocabulary, peculiar to a particular trade, profession, or group (such as medical jargon, CSI, etc.)  It is unintelligable, meaningless talk or writing-gibberish.

His suggestions for where to come up with stories and dialogue was to "go somewhere, grab a cup of coffee and just listen to people talk."  He also mentioned reading small town newspapers.  He once found an article titled "Dog Shoots Owner with Gun."  Haha, now that would make for an interesting story!

"All dialogue should be moving toward something."  According to Alfred Hitchcock, a good story is "life with the dull parts pulled out."  "Don't let your dialogue turn into too much narrative.  Start your story in the middle of something."  He also suggested to use profanity sparingly because it can clog a good story or script.

Haha, a quote I enjoyed was, "Actors need words, don't make them improvise!"  As an actress I very much appreciate all of the hard work that goes into creating a script.  This workshop allowed me to understand the process of creating characters.  I will use this knowledge when developing my characters for the stage.  I will also pay attention to every coma, pause, or beat that is in a script and do my work with researching anything that is written that I do not understand.  Thank you writers!!!!!!  :)

KCACTF: The Audition Before the Audition

"Auditioning is about showing your best self, how far you can go, your depth."  In this workshop, we learned what it is we should do to properly prepare ourselves for auditions so that we can go in confidently and focused on our performance.  We were told to not save picking out an outfit til the last minute and advised to actually have a specific audition outfit that is worn only for auditions.  It should be neutral and comfortable, modest, clean, flatter body, fit properly, quiet shoes, no pants that will need to be hiked up, and no shirt that will cause you to adjust it.  You want the casting director to focus on what you are doing, not distracted by your attire.

The function of a cattle call is to stand out and get a callback.  At a callback is when you worry about getting the role.
Everybody talks in theatre, so it is important to be polite and friendly.  "Don't be brilliant in your audition but a jerk to the Stage Manager or door checker."  When you are called up, your walk-on gives you ten seconds to show you are confident by how you carry yourself.  "Walk tall, fast, proud, smile.  You have a destination, get to it."  Haha, she said to think this, "I'm not an ass and your welcome for my talent."  Speak clearly and calmly during your intro.  Give your name, audition number, and piece.  Pick your focal point and do it.  When selecting your audition material, choose a piece that you would be cast for-in your age range.  Do not use dialect, except possibly for callbacks.  "MAKE BOLD CHOICES."

For musical auditions, get a 3-ring binder (for extra stability).  No plastic sleeves, they cause a glare.  Bracket where your 16 or 32 bars begins and end and highlight.  To tell your accompanist the tempo, sing it.  Be careful the music is not too tough for accompanist.  Be kind, smile, and thank your accompanist.

Headshots should be 8x10sof your shoulders up.  They can be in color and vertical or horizontal is fine.  You should look like yourself on your best day.  It is suggested to have three different looks, five if you can afford it.  Your resume goes on the back.  Content:  name, phone, address, height, weight, age, hair color, eye color, vocal range, experience-previous roles (most recent to least recent), education, special skills, teachers.  If you have worked with a good actor or director, this should also be listed.

Being Brit in the Lounge

One of the greatest blessings I have received are my friends.  Last night I stayed up until 3am with two people who mean the world to me.  Lindsey Fowler Wacholz and I started off the night with ridiculous girl talk and cuddling on my futon.  We moved the conversation down to the 2nd floor lounge where for some reason we chose to take on British accents.  I have been working on mine for The Importance of Being Earnest lately.  Lindsey did not have much former experience, but I must say she is quite the pro.  I am actually pretty disappointed that she has not auditioned for any shows because she is so outgoing and hilarious.

Brandon Hanson came down after finishing up his hour and a half game of Settlers of Catan.  I have never played that game and I don't think I will because I do not have the patience or ability to sit still for that long.  He sat by me and we enjoyed the British Flower Waffles Show as Linds continued her dialect and outrageous statements and questions.   Questions ranged from "Who would you kick off of campus if you had to?" to "Who do you find most attractive?"  Yes, it was like middle school all over again.  Haha.

The conversation did get more serious at times and I enjoyed hearing their views on relationships and faith.  After STP, I have seen so much growth in Lindsey and her strength and desire to grow in her knowledge and relationship with Christ is inspiring.  I am hoping to start getting in the word with her and learning together.  Brandon is a man who I have so much respect for.  He has such a fantastic ability to care for and encourage his friends.

I am so thankful to have been able to spend these late hours of the night with Lindsey and Brandon.  It is so rare to find genuine friendships and so vital to cherish them.

Campus Mail

As a student it is quite rare to get mail that you actually want.  I tend to get statements reminding me of the thousands of dollars I owe the school, bank statements, and advertisments for other schools.  Today I was delighted to go to the mailroom and find not one, but TWO packages waiting for me!  :)

The first was one from my mom.  She sent me a pair of blue flannel Snoopy pajama pants.  They look super comfortable and I am so excited to wear them!!!!  I also received a few HyVee giftcards, which is perfect because I need to go grocery shopping either today or tomorrow.  There were a bunch of peach tea packets as well, just what I need with the cold weather and snow!  :)

The other package was from my dear friend and fellow Gluten Intolerant, Suzi Erb.  I met Suzi this past summer at STP and my breath was taken away by her good lucks and charisma.  Suzi has been super supportive and willing to offer advice and tips.  She sent me a ginormous bag full of homemade gluten-free chocolate chip cookies!!!!  They are sooooooo delicious!!!!!  I haven't had cookies in a few weeks so I kinda gorged.  I ate like 4 or 5.  I will have to ration the rest.  Haha!  :)

KCACTF: Actor's Equity

Ever considered acting professionally?  Wondered what that constituted?  It can be scary to think about because Acting is not a profession that has guaranteed work or pay.  The Actor's Equity was started in 1913 to create a more professional approach to this daring career choice.  I was blessed today to be able to attend a seminar called:  A Career in Theatre:  The Role of Actor's Equity and  A Practical Guide to the Business.  Tom Miller, the Director of Outreach and Career Development for Actor's Equity Association, came here to teach the seminar.  I went with my friends:  Alex, Brandon, Colin, and Kylie.

Tom is a very positive guy and it was an absolute joy to be in the room.  He used to be a working actor and therefore knew exactly what we were all going through.  He was very honest, helpful, and insipiring.    To start off the class, we went around and said our name, where we went to school, and our hometown.  Afterwards he told us that this technique is actually used during auditions to find out:  "Can you project?  Can a part of you come through just by saying your name and hometown?"  It is a "very small business and any opportunity you have to make an impact is important."

So what is Actor's Equity?  Actor's Equity is made up of actors and stage managers.  They negotiate contracts that consist of the following aspects:  salary, hours, benefits, insurance, conditions, and safety.  Tom told us that you should wait to join until you believe in yourself and are ready to treat acting like a business.  How do you know this?  "Can you keep an audition log?  Are you able to walk out of an audition and do a self-evaluation without being judgemental?  Be able to differentiate what control you have or don't.  Can you let go of everything that went wrong and give the best possible audition you can do in that moment?  Be present every beat.  Accept them, take them as life experiences, and let them go."

One quote I really enjoyed was, "We bring that emotional committment to everything we do."  I love this.  It is very true and reflects the dedication and work ethic of most actors.  Even with presentations for classes that I do not care about I cannot help but give them my all.  We have an attitude of, "Great!  Let's do it!"  He said that this can pose a challenge because it can get you injured.  "You know you can do it and will eventually be at that point, but keep in mind that you need proper training and to only do it at the proper time."  Haha, an example he gave was Broadway's "Spider Man" and the numerous accidents this show has had.

Sunday Drive

We set off for KCACTF44 (Kennedy Center American Theatre Festival) at 10am.  The drive was approximately 4 and a half hours.  Fortunately we all had plenty of entertainment.  Apparently I was the butt of all the jokes.  Everytime the topic of food came up my dear friends thought it funny to make gluten jokes since I can't eat anything.  Debbi Jones brought some cherry lip gloss and I asked for some but was told it was gluten gloss.  I took a nap and on top of having Anne Wentworth take a very unflattering picture of my mouth open with Anna Thvedt's camera, Brandon Hanson thought it was funny to joke about pouring gluten down my throat.  I have the best friends ever.  Haha.  Brandon did bring a huge bag of chocolates though and was more than willing to share with all of us.  I enjoyed a few Milky Ways.  TJ Polzin rode in the front and was in charge of navigating the trip.  According to Kylie Perleberg, Alex Bahney ruined every song that came on the radio.  He would sing it in a special voice and we would all be like, "Ahhhhhh!!!!"  Colin Koth attempted to sleep the whole trip, but I do not believe there was much success with how loud everyone was.  Our chaperone for the trip is Liz McAllister.  She did a great job of driving with TJ's assistance and even enjoyed jamming out with us.

Moments

I work with one of the directors for a Sioux Falls high school and we enjoy talking about shows that we have seen, are in the process of doing, or just find interesting.  I was excited on Saturday when he brought in the script for the One Act show that his school is doing.  It is an original script called "Moments" that is made up of monologues written by the actors.  The whole process for this show sounds absolutely fascinating.

For auditions, he asked each actor to come in with a prepared monologue of their own writing.  If you know anything about auditions, then you know how intimidating they can be.  You are putting yourself out their with the hopes of a role and the fear of rejection.  Usually you can bring in a prepared monologue of your choice or the director will have you do a dry read, where you are handed a script and read/act through it with other auditioning actors.  I have so much respect for the students who chose to take on this challenge and the amount of vulnerability they showed.

Ten students were cast along with two understudies.  They were assigned multiple monologues with prompts throughout the production process.  These monologues were then picked through and revised, some switched between actors, and ultimately formed into a One Act.  There are also scenes written in so as to create a flow and interaction between the characters.

I was blown away by the script.  After reading it I just want to meet the kids and get to know them.  The honesty that they bring to the script is absolutely inspiring.  Reflecting on the script and the process has given me many ideas should I ever choose to direct.  I would definitely keep in mind the talent and creativity that my actors have and do my best to encourage it throughout the process.

Goodbye Gluten!

What a day.  So I went to the doctor today because I seem to usually feel crappy after eating.  I told her my symptoms and she told me that I am Gluten Intolerant.  Farewell:

Wheat, wheat berries, wheat bran, wheat germ, wheatgrass, or any form of the word wheat (other than buckwheat, which is an unrelated plant)

• Barley, barley malt, barley flour, or any form of the word barley.
• Rye, rye flour, pumpernickel flour, or any form of the word rye.
• Oats, oatmeal, oat flour, oat groats, or any form of the word oats.
• Flour, including instant, bread, cake, enriched, graham, and all-purpose flours.
• Triticale
• Einkorn
• Spelt
• Semolina
• Durum
• Bulgar or Bulghar
• Kamut
• Cracker meal
• Couscous
• Tabbouleh
• Tempura crumbs
• Malt

Avoid foods containing the following unless the label indicates they are from a non-gluten source:

• Hydrolyzed vegetable protein
• Modified food starch
• Vegetable starch or vegetable protein
• Gelatinized starch or pregelatinized starch
• Natural flavorings
• Soy sauce

Be especially alert for the presence of wheat and gluten in the following:

• Breads, pastries, cakes, cookies, crackers, doughnuts, pies, pretzels, and all other baked goods. The majority are made from wheat flour; look for alternatives by allergy-safe manufacturers.
• Breakfast cereals, both hot and cold.
• Pasta, including gnocchi, spaetzle, chow mein, lo mein, and filled pastas. Rice noodles, pure buckwheat soba noodles, and pastas from allergy-friendly manufacturers are good alternatives for home cooking.
• Snack foods, especially if seasoned or highly processed.
• Soups, gravies, and thickened sauces.
• Breaded meats or vegetables, such as fried chicken or okra.
• Dumplings, meatballs, lunch meats, meat loaves, and similar foods (often held together with breadcrumbs or flour).
• Beer
• Salad dressings, Worcestershire sauce, and other condiments.

(Courtesy:  foodallergies.com)

I also had blood drawn to test me for Celiac disease.  Blech.  I am extremely afraid of needles, like I usually hyperventilate and start crying.  When I was fourteen I knew that I was going to have to get another tetanus shot and I had detailed re-accuring nightmares.  I think the fear comes from when I was three or four years old.  I was dehydrated and had to go to the hospital and get blood drawn.  I was so dehydrated that they could not get a vein, so they would try sticking me, then wait awhile and try again.  This took all day before they finally could draw enough blood.  My throat is getting tight and my hands are shaking just thinking about needles.  Anyway, I had to get over my fear and just do it today.  I layed down and closed my eyes, so that helped because I never had to see the needle.  I was shaking still though even an hour afterwards.  Oh well, I did it!  If I can live through a stupid needle attack then I can handle a dumb gluten intolerance.

Clueless about Candy Land

So this is not really something huge, but I still consider it to be Blog-worthy.  Last night as I was leaving the computer lab, I saw my dear friends, the Student Senate President and his First Lady, Sam Dooyema and Laura Johnson.  I decided to stop by, say hello, and hug them.  "Ooh!  Candy Land!" I exclaimed.  Then I noticed that Sam was reading a piece of paper.  Upon closer examination, I realized that it was the directions...  I burst out laughing.  How could anyone possibly have to read the directions for Candy Land?!?!  Laura thought it was funny too.  Seriously, you pick up a card, look at the color or picture and move to that space.  I guess maybe it could get tricky when you draw a card with two color squares...  Anyway, I told Sam that this was ridiculous enough to make it on my blog.  He and Laura have been begging to make it on here.  While I still consider Sam to be a stellar individual, I have lost a tad bit of respect for him and will think twice before consulting him.  Laura on the other hand is quite brilliant and will always be the number one baller in my life.

Clenching Control and Sipping Soyia Miel

When I like something or am excited, you can bet that the whole world, or at least every single one of my friends (which is pretty close to the world’s population), will know about it.  We read Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz in my Honors class last semester and I quite frankly fell in love.  I made a monologue and Oral Interpretation piece from one of the chapters.  I could not tell you how many times I have referred to this book since reading it.  For a Christmas gift exchange Brandon Hanson bought me Searching for God Knows What, another masterpiece of Miller’s.  My face lit up upon unwrapping it and I started schpeeling, “Ahhh!  This is the same guy who wrote Blue Like Jazz!  I picked out a monologue and Interp piece from that book!  I love Donald Miller!”  Brandon told me that he knew I would like it because I had already told him all of that…multiple times…

I have been anxious to start reading but busy with other books, however this morning’s service at The Ransom inspired me to go for it.  So I made my way to Coffea, hold up, I am gonna go order a drink.  Ok, back.  The guy who took my order was super sweet, I am borderline in love.  I always get a Soyia Miel (soy milk, chamomile tea, and honey) here but was craving something iced.  He told me that he has never turned it into an iced drink, but upon watching my face drop he said, “You know what?  Let’s try it!”  Then we both got really excited and started laughing as the other girls looked on enviously.  Ok, so no girls were watching, but whatever.  Anyway, I am super excited for this new concoction and, wow!  It is here!  That was fast.  It tastes amazing!  Ok, drop the “borderline”, I am officially in love.  J

Oh, back to the book.  So I am on the first chapter and a sentence that stood out to me was, “It makes me wonder if what we really want is control, not a relationship.”  Miller talked about having a “formula” with God and how this perverts who God is.  How people follow a set of rules and then expect God to answer their prayers.  He compared it to rubbing a genie’s lamp and making wishes.  If this is the case, then “what we really want from the formulas are the wishes, not God.”  How can we think that God is this simple?  He gave us free will, so who are we to make wishes and expect him to fulfill every single one of them?  This would put us in control of God if he chose to satisfy our every selfish want.

Rather, why not choose to be in relationship with Him?  I think that if we chose to take the time to get to know Him, our wishes would change.  They would be more in line with His will.  We would pray for guidance and thus have a clearer view of who we are and who we should strive to become.  Kind of a side note, but still related; I work front desk at a hotel.  “You need TWELVE extra blankets?!”  I hear stuff like this all the time and as hard as I try to remain professional and helpful, sometimes there is going to be an unhappy guest.  At times I get annoyed by needy or outrageous requests, but I am sure that this is nothing compared to the amount of requests that we give God.  Yet, He shows us patience.  He pursues us through our stubbornness and gently pries apart our clenched fingers from the control that we crave.

Light

"If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

1 John 1:7

 

 

 

This verse seems so simple.  We know the difference between light and dark, we often seek out fellowship, and Christ makes us pure.  Sounds like a fool-proof plan to me.  I guess I must surpass most fools in being foolish because I do not seem to get this.

 

Why is the dark so appealing?  I know that Christ has so much more to offer than anything I can find in the dark, yet I choose to keep the lights off and stumble around searching for security and satisfaction.  I have obviously not found either if I have to continue feeling around on the cold, dark ground.  You would think that it would not have taken long for this to turn on a light bulb in my brain and awaken me to the fact that my way sucks and is only tearing me apart.

 

All day I have felt sick to my stomach and I am hoping that this is a sign that I am broken.  I am very independent and headstrong, but I want to be so broken that I cannot soothe myself with lies or pick myself back up.  Every time that I "fix" myself I end up falling apart again, in even smaller pieces that are harder to gather and put back together.  I know that I do not have the strength to console, mend, or forgive myself.  I pray that Christ would push away the darkness and pull me into His light. 

Black Sheep Coffee

Brandon Hanson called me around noon today (Jan 4)  and asked if I would be interested in running lines and getting coffee with him this afternoon.  Hmmm.....Brandon, lines, and coffee....yes!  :)  I asked if he had anywhere in mind and he told me that he already knew where we were going.  So around 3:20pm we arrived at Black Sheep Coffee.

I have heard many students talk about how much they love Black Sheep, so I was excited to give it a try.  I walked in to discover a very hippie-esque atmosphere.  The chairs were all mismatched and by looking around you would not be able to tell the workers from the customers.  There was also a group of Ethiopians as well as signs written in their language.  I loved the artwork on the walls; pictures taken from all over the world up for sale by local photographers.  I ordered my usual favorite:  iced soy chai latte.

I was excited to take my first sip, but was highly disappointed because it tasted nothing like an iced chai usually does.  It was very bitter and awful.  Brandon saw my facial expression and reached over to try it himself.  He made the same face.  So my $3.60 piece of crap sat unconsumed for the rest of our time there.  Brandon's drink was delicious, or so I hear.  By the time I asked for a sip, he had already drunk it all.  Haha.

We got to work on the first scene of Neil Labute's "Fat Pig."  After a read-through, we went back and discussed and wrote down notes about things that had caught our attention in the script.  I have been studying this script and researching since even before I got the part, but it is so beneficial and exciting to have collaboration.  It is crazy how changing the delivery or effect of even one line can change the motives of the rest of the scene.

Dennis Thum, the USF campus pastor, also happened to show up at Black Sheep.  He sat at a table near us and asked what we were working on.  We gave a brief synopsis and were met with more questions and a thoughtful look.  Dennis then asked us if we would perform a five minute scene from the show for the Valentine’s Day Chapel.  Brandon and I were excited by this invitation because we have a chance to share a brief message of the show as well as advertise because the Chapel is the day before opening night.

All in all, Black Sheep was a very positive experience.  I may not have gotten the drink of choice, but my mind was opened to a new culture.  I was not in my usual coffee shop setting of classy furniture and scarves.  I was a little uncomfortable at first, but it can be good to put yourself in uncomfortable settings.  It forces you to realize what it is that you prejudge. Instead of focusing on how different Black Sheep was to a place I would have chosen, I tried to appreciate what it has to offer for the people who regularly go there.  With theatre I have learned that you must be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Thank you Black Sheep for this acting exercise.  J

Getting Jumped

You know how senior year of high school people get voted “Most Popular” or “Most Likely to Succeed”?  Well, I was voted “Worst Driver”…yup.  Needless to say, both high school and driving are not strong suits in my life.  I did not realize that this titile extended to “Girl With Worst Car Luck Ever.”

I recently had my lovely Car Car (creatively named by Anna Thvedt), a light blue 2000 Ford Taurus, towed (thank you AAA Premium!) to Mankato, MN where my parents’ friend will be taking it apart and fixing probably everything on it.  In the meantime, I am driving a maroon 1994 Buick LeSabre named Esmerelda by my thirteen year-old sister, Charlotte.  So far I have really enjoyed the vehicle.  It drives much more smoothly and quietly plus it has a tape player.  I need to find my old “Grease” and Britney Spears tapes…


So what do I do?  I manage to not shut my door all the way and my battery dies.  This is at 7pm when I am supposed to be on my way to meet Kristin, my coworker, at Coffea.  I am parked across the street from Sullivan, so I gave Campus Security a call.  The guy was very friendly, but a little too excited to have someone to talk to.  I explained my problem and his first response was, “Do you have two feet?”  “Yes…”  “Well, start walking!”  I kind of stuttered awkwardly and explained that gettting back to campus was not the problem, I could obviously manage the 100 feet trek back to my dorms, however I needed my car to work.  He started laughing and told me to lighten up.


My Knight in a Shining USF Truck showed up a few minutes later.  He told me how glad he was that my car needed to be jumped because he had been doing paperwork for the last six hours.  I am thankful my inconvenience was a blessing for someone.  :) He brought out a liability form and asked me to sign it in case my car should blow up.  I am the most gullible person ever and I was already nervous so this did not make me feel much better.  Unfortunately the jump chord was too short to reach both whatever thingys they are supposed to connect to.  So he had to call in reinforcement.


In the meantime, he took it upon himself to show me the proper way to shut a car door so as to not leave the lights on and kill your battery.  He thought it was hilarious.  I gave him the courtesy of a convincing fake laugh.


When Hero #2 made it over, they manuevered Knight’s truck to try to make the chord reach.  The next task was to find something metal to ground it or something.  Let me tell you, cars are made out of plastic these days, no more metal.


Finally we were able to get my car jump-started.  I thanked Knight and Hero #2 and was on my merry way to Coffea.  When I arrived, I made sure my door was fully shut and that the lights were off.