Light

"If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

1 John 1:7

 

 

 

This verse seems so simple.  We know the difference between light and dark, we often seek out fellowship, and Christ makes us pure.  Sounds like a fool-proof plan to me.  I guess I must surpass most fools in being foolish because I do not seem to get this.

 

Why is the dark so appealing?  I know that Christ has so much more to offer than anything I can find in the dark, yet I choose to keep the lights off and stumble around searching for security and satisfaction.  I have obviously not found either if I have to continue feeling around on the cold, dark ground.  You would think that it would not have taken long for this to turn on a light bulb in my brain and awaken me to the fact that my way sucks and is only tearing me apart.

 

All day I have felt sick to my stomach and I am hoping that this is a sign that I am broken.  I am very independent and headstrong, but I want to be so broken that I cannot soothe myself with lies or pick myself back up.  Every time that I "fix" myself I end up falling apart again, in even smaller pieces that are harder to gather and put back together.  I know that I do not have the strength to console, mend, or forgive myself.  I pray that Christ would push away the darkness and pull me into His light.